If you’ve been reading my blog or following me on Facebook, you’ve probably figured out that 2014 was not my best year. Don’t get me wrong, there were good moments: joy, peace, comfort…but if someone offered me a redo where I could write the story, I would write it differently. In so many ways.
We lost our daughter 21 weeks into my pregnancy and had to go through labour and delivery without any sort of positive expectation on the other side. Following this (absolutely terrible) experience, I went on to experience four and a half months of relatively serious related health issues.
I have also seen glimmers of hope, little bits of light, that I wouldn’t otherwise have known. The mother in me would trade all of these life lessons to get my daughter back, in a heartbeat, but I’m learning to appreciate the beauty that can come from suffering. It’s a slow process.
And with that, in no particular order, I present to you my 2015 resolutions:
1. Be Present. This Moment Matters.
We are not guaranteed anything in this life. It doesn’t matter what the “average” life-span is, or how much we think we have yet to do. It doesn’t matter how much we plan to accomplish at some point in “the future”. We have today. Heck, we have this moment. I want to live it, enjoy it; stop that feeling that there is something pressing somewhere else that I need to be doing. Breathe and appreciate what’s there. I long to appreciate the moments; the beautiful moments of everyday.
2. Forgo Short-term Gain for Long-term Awesome.
I’m not very good at this. I never have been. I want what I want and I want it now. You know, like that fancy new e-reader, or that great book bundle, or a lovely pillow. I forget to ask myself what I’m trading it for. What am I giving up to get that beautiful fantabulous item? Do I want a house laid out well for entertaining or that chocolate bar? It rarely crosses my mind. This year, I will ask myself that question.
3. Help Others Whenever I Have the Opportunity.
This is sort of related to resolution number one. Be in the moment with whomever it is that’s in the moment with you. If you pass someone on the street who has dropped their groceries, help them pick them up. Leave enough time between commitments that I have time to notice others. To recognize and acknowledge them. To extend empathy for their stories, told or untold. I want to see people how Jesus does.
4. Say “No” More Often and Finish What I Start.
This seemed a little bit backwards to me. Probably because of the lack of thinking I talked about in resolution two. I’m very much a “yes” person. I always have been. I’m fairly easily distracted by bright-shiny-objects and want to do everything. Not sure why, it’s just me. The problem is, it often makes me come across as pretty flaky. I offer to do something because I really do think it’s a fantastic idea and want to see it happen and no one else will do it. And then I say yes to so many other things that I’m overrun and swamped. To the point where I either don’t finish things at all, or do a pretty shoddy job of it. Truth. This year, one of my mantras is: “Say no to the good so that you can say yes to the better”. So far, it’s working (and I’m scaring the pants off of some people who are used to me taking everything on ;)).
5. Waste Less Time on Social Media and More Time Writing From the Soul.
Guilty as charged: Social Media Addict. If I’m in front of my computer, I’m probably on Facebook. Not really “doing” anything, just mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed. This year I am going to spend less time on social media and more time writing about things that matter (at least, things that matter to me). I love a LOLcat as much as the next person, but there are better things that I can do with my time. I’ve always wanted to write. Here’s my opportunity. This might sound funny, but I’ve already started tracking how I use my time so that I can make better use of it.
So, I’m curious. What are your resolutions? Do you have hope that this year can be better? Leave a comment below and let’s chat!